Not Quite Normal Penpals

wow, sounds like a great penpal idea/swap, I actually wanted to do something similar lol :)

:( really want to join this one, but I'm on vacation that week...is there any chance you might repeat it?

Ok...I'm gonna try my hardest not to sound rude or judgemental here, because I really don't want to offend anyone. I like the people on this site, whatever background they come from, and I enjoy swapping with all types.

I'm seeing a lot of Christians since I made this post, and that's ok. I have nothing against your choices; we are all free to believe whatever we like, and so long as it doesn't harm ourselves or others, there's nothing at all wrong with that.

I'd just like you all to be aware of the type of swap this is before you join, please.

Given it's high popularity rate around the world, and it's strict moral code, in my opinion, Christianity can in no way be considered your "bad side". As far as I am aware, any sexual taboos would generally be considered a sin and therefore be avoided. Also, I know that this has changed much in recent years, but Christianity is still not well known for its tolerance of homosexuals.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I have to admit, I'm a bit worried about the content of these letters being misunderstood or being something you were not prepared to read. Pouring your heart out to a stranger isn't easy to begin with, but pouring out your sins to a Christian is much scarier, at least for me.

Also, if the people in your life do not approve of your choice to believe in God, that does also count as a valid topic for this swap as well, and I will always applaud those who stick to their beliefs even when faced with opposition from loved ones, but just understand that the letter you get in return may be something much darker, and those of us who are of other religions be willing to receive a letter of this nature as well.

Be fair to your partner, and be true to yourself.

I love the idea! I will be watching for now and see how balanced I am wit my normal letters. But I hope this will be repeated somewhere in the future, sounds great to me, to rant a bit, let "the bad" things out! :)

But did I get it right, that you also write the normal stuff, like I am xy, I am cv years old, yaba yaba yaba? :)

ah, forget about the last question, found it! :)

Great idea. Just watching for now - I'm not sure I'm ready to let the skeletons out of the closet yet!

This is such a great idea!

@GrrrMeoww I'm with you in worrying a little about the recipient getting offended by what I may choose to write, but I also think you've made it very clear that those with strict views on something would be best off staying away.

"Newbies welcome, any ratings, no ratings, whatever. If you flake on a letter, you have issues" I love this comment!

Just to start a discussion since I was thinking of joining:

*Also, I know that this has changed much in recent years, but Christianity is still not well known for its tolerance of homosexuals. *

What does this have to do with a dark side? Are you suggesting that being homosexual would qualify as someone's dark side? I would think the only way that would be their "dark side" is if they are into kinky sex, but even heteros like the kinky!

I don't know. I appreciated that you were concerned regarding the Christians joining this swap, but I found that comment...well, a little prejudice, quite honestly.

In anycase, I'm still thinking about this swap. Trying to decide if I have a dark enough side that someone would want to read about. I'm pretty vanilla!

savannahjan...

I think what is meant is this...if i write about my fantasies to be with the same sex, but am hetero, that would be considered bi or homosexual behavior. Thus, some Christians would not approve. It's not meaning that being homosexual is a dark side. Your dark side is whatever you think it is :]

My feeling is...if someone sends me a letter and it's something that I would never do, or it's something that offends me, the worst I'm going to do is think "What a freak" and throw the letter away.

So, who cares what someone else thinks of you. You get your "secret" or "dark side" out there on paper and if someone doesn't appreciate it, what's the worst they could do? Not like you?

I think this is a great idea.

May I make 1 friendly suggestion...

Often the envelopes which contain mail we receive are seen by others, who might not necessarily be as open-minded as we are. (ie. young children, bosses and coworkers, clergy, etc.) Therefore, I would strongly suggest keeping the outter wrappings of this swap very respectable. For example, while I might find an envelope decorated with a cute little nude fairy or a wiccan quote interesting, not everyone else would.

And remember..."normal" is a completely subjective term. What's normal for 1 person might be considered abnormal to another. A very vanilla example of this would involve burping. In some societies, burping during or after a meal is considered a compliment. It means you ate well and enjoyed your meal. In other places, however, such as the USA, to do so, especially on purpoose or without at least saying "Excuse me", is considered very rude. (Except to young boys who often find it hilarious! :) LOL!)

With that being said, this sounds like an interesting and thought provoking swap. Thanks GrrrMeoww for hosting it.

love love LOVE this idea!! will definitely be joining as soon as i send out another swap, thus opening up a free spot, since i'm already at my 20 limit.

Ok, as far as being homosexual goes, that falls into the "people don't always approve of" category, rather than the "dark side". Same reason Christianity falls into that category in certain circumstances, if people you know and love do not approve of your choices. Though kinky sex does fall into "bad side" territory, I agree that has nothing to do with your sexual orientation lol.

@sariah8 the idea here is to gain a penpal who has similar interests, or is as much a freak as you are. Basically, I have a hard time keeping up with the average penpal because I'm just not normal lol, and I think there's a few other people out there that prolly feel the same way. This is in NO WAY intended to be purely a confessional, and the last thing I want is for someone to call anyone in this post a freak and throw away a friend!! I think you missed the point a little...

@craftytweety Yes, keep the envelope G-rated please! Many people have kids at home, and don't need the young'uns seeing anything they ought not to know about yet :P If there's nudity, it better be inside the envelope lol As far as the definition of normal goes, you're right, it is subjective, but goofy cultural differences are things most penpals already talk about and enjoy learning~ we're writing about what we think is unusual or not easily accepted about ourselves- things we don't or can't usually feel comfortable writing to our existing penpals.

I just want to know what the stance is on illegal situations. Is it ok to write about them if no one (or animals) is hurt/abused/used etc? Or is that one step too far into the dark side?

@catestalkergc I am going to have to leave that up to you- It really depends on what kind of illegal situation you are talking about...in most places it's illegal to have anal sex, but if both partners are consenting adults, it's not hurting anyone.

You always run the risk of someone thinking that you should be reported for your illegal action, if it appears someone could be hurt by it, so just use your best judgement and don't write about it if it could get you into serious trouble.

Cool, I figured that would be the answer but thought I should check. There are just some things that are illegal even though they don't hurt anyone, but some people freak out if something has the illegal status.

This is an awesome swap and I would LOVE to join. I'm just concerned with what partner would get my letter (My life is not very Christian friendly) and I'm also concerned with what I might get in return. I don't care about illegal issues, sex or anything else but animal abuse crosses the line for me. It really is tempting though. I would love a not quite normal pen pal.

Abuse or neglect of any (non-consenting) form will not be tolerated. There are some D/s groups that practice humiliation and the like, but again, the line is drawn on whether or not both parties are consenting adults.

Animals should never even be a part of this conversation!- if you have any inclination to abuse or injure another living creature on purpose (beyond hunting, which I do not necessarily oppose, for food purposes and with proper licensing) and especially if you have any sexual inclination toward them...I'm sorry, I cannot feel any other way but disgusted by that, and you should likely seek professional help. Again people, this is NOT A CONFESSIONAL FOR YOUR UGLIEST SINS. This is a place to be ourselves and find friends who can read and write letters back and forth without hiding who we are, or being afraid that they won't write back. Why the hell would you write a penpal letter about abusing animals or committing beastiality??

Let me be as clear as I can- OK topic examples: BDSM, LGBT, Sarcasm and Misanthropy, Religion and Politics, Dirty Jokes, etc...

NOT OK Topic examples: Murder, rape, beastiality, cruelty to animals, assault and battery, stalking, bigotry, hate crimes, etc...

Got it?

This sounds like a great swap, but my worry would be that there is nothing preventing your partner from posting your letter anywhere. You may tell them something that you may not want others to know, but what if it ends up online, with your name on it?

Hopefully no one here would be sick enough to do something like that @infierno but it's always a possibility, so keep any information that would negatively affect your life private, if that is a concern for you.

As an example, I identify as bisexual, but I'm also a married woman. I still date women, and many people find that to be a moral grey area. However, both our families and all our friends already know about it, and it showing up online somewhere wouldn't hurt me. It is a strange topic for penpals though, especially because most straight females on penpal sites don't wanna hear about how hot I think Eliza Dushku is...and I just want to be myself with someone who won't judge me for it.

But seriously, given that you would have their home address, it might not be wise for your pal to flame you on the internet. lmao

I'm just ecstatic that my post is getting so much attention! :P Thank you all for your comments and messages, I'm really looking forward to an awesome swap!!

I'm really thinking about joining this swap, it seems like a lot of fun! And to whoever my partner would be, if you look at my swap history, you'll see a lot of Christian ATC swaps. I'm collecting for my stepdad and mom for a holiday gift, and this should no way affect your letter to me! Unless you'd like to talk about how hard it is to have a lot of strongly religous family members.... lol!

i've gotta join this swap just because of all the hoopla it's causing!! :)

Hey everybody, The organiser said "don't join if you have delicate sensibilities". I think that is quite clear. If the idea of the swap offends you, or what you could receive in return frightens you, don't participate.

anal sex is illegal???? whoooo I commit that crime alot!!!

FYI @GrrMeoww - I think Eliza Dushku is hot too and my husband agrees

I've joined up. Should be fun :o)

One more day for signup, can't believe how many people are on here! This is tons of fun and the swap hasn't even started yet lol

@Elizabeth4510 haha ya in a lot of places, but I'm not sure of individual state and country laws...

In Dallas, Tx, it's illegal to possess a realistic dildo. :D

Well, that was an awesome read. How fun. I'm sorry but I really can't join as I would be a bit afraid to trust someone I don't know with my "bad" side. My favourite site is Post Secret which I always read first thing Sunday morning- before church. Cheers

I've had this on my watchlist for some time, but I don't think I can commit to joining. Which is a shame, b/c you guys are really getting into it! :) Hope you host one of these again, and I can join. :)

:( I sooooo wanna do this but I'm going on vacation today....I really hoe this will go so well that you do another one...

I think this would be alot of fun, I am always for penpals being open and honest with each other. I find it very sad however that in the swap description you say religion is an ok subject but then get upset because Christian signed up. I can understand that christians get a bad rap for being judgemental and you don't anyone to end up seriously offended or someone being harassed by their partner because of a difference in lifestyle or beliefs etc. But I gotta tell ya that your response just shows that Christians are not often allowed to express their true feelings. I think it would be great to write a letter talking about being a Christian homeschooler- believe me- often not a very acceptable thing. Just because my immediate family doesnt think i am too nuts doesn't mean it is not a valid subject. oh and i would not be offended if my partner was bi or gay or wrote about sex or something. just because a person has a different belief system doesn't mean they hate. i think it would be great to promote a "can't we all just get along?" viewpoint.

That is a tough thing that I wonder about -- someone being malicious with what I would share in my letter, as in posting it on the web or on my profile, or something like that. It is hard to trust others, even when it comes to sharing things via a letter instead of in person. I'm watching this for now, but have to make a decision tonight. Thinking about it.....

I can't join this swap now because I'm drowning in study, but I'll be sure to do the next one! I've got quite a few little "quirks" about me :P. I'm a Christian who doesn't like any church (or institutionalised religion), has a rather weird sexuality and a lot of strange thoughts about government and such. A LOT of my friends are gay, or other religion, and I love being able to talk to them about their believes.

Jesus said "Treat your neighbour how you would treat yourself", and that is how I treat EVERYONE :D

@walkinintheway ..you should read the entire post again. You'd then realize that I am not upset in any way about Christians joining the swap; I only want to make sure they know what kind of swap this is before they join. Not to mention, I did also state that being a Christian is a valid topic if you feel people around you do not accept you for who you are, either. However, like I said, the letter you get in return may not be so tame. Just a disclaimer, not a restriction or a judgement.

@TangerineLemons If all goes well and no one ends up naked on youtube, I'll be sure to host another one! :P

Well, I am in. AND I am a Christian. AND YES! I have a dark side! Good grief people. Christians are PEOPLE, and we are NOT PERFECT! Any "Christian" who says they are is a LIAR.

We can't win. Non-Christians think we judge them and we walk on egg shells. Our fellow Christians judge us if we speak our TRUE feelings. WTF? Not all Christians are the same. I don't judge others so PLEASE don't judge me because I believe in Jesus.

Thanks you! I shall now step down off my soap box!

Your friendly Swap-bot Bipolar Christian Homeschooling SAHM that works part time repossessing cars, LOVES kinky sex and telling her exes to f#ck off if they indeed need to be told!

Yeehaw- and let the games begin! :P

Oh Twinsane...that is why we love you....because you are so darn honest!

This was fun! I'm sending my letter to Filpot tomorrow. I'd love to participate in another swap like this in the future!

I'll be putting mine in the mailbox tomorrow since I haven't had a good chance to really sit down and write it. I want it to be legible and not something I had to do quickly.

I wish I hadnt missed this!

Hello! To whoever my partner is... I just wanted to let you know that I haven't gotten your swap just yet, which I don't mind at all, but I'm letting you know because I'm going out of the country on vacation for 2 weeks, so when it does get here, I won't be able to confirm and rate you until I'm back home. So don't worry if you don't hear from me right away. :)

Nevermind that message, I got mine right after I posted it. :)